Journal
Justine Lupe on Early Motherhood
New York City-born and Colorado-raised actress Justine Lupe found first-hand that the narrative around becoming a mother in the entertainment industry is changing—pregnancy is no longer a “career-ending” move, but instead can be something incredibly healing. The first five months of her pregnancy were spent filming season one of the romantic comedy “Nobody Wants This”—alongside three other pregnant women, including show creator Erin Foster. Now in the midst of filming season two, Justine chatted with us—from her Los Angeles home, as the multi-tasking momma gave her daughter, Ellis, a bath—about her pregnancy journey and the fourth trimester, her acting North Star, what it’s like being back on set post-baby, and more.
Justine, with baby Ellis, wears the Maria Tank and Morgan Pant
Congratulations on becoming a mama this past August—how have the first months been?
Seven months in, it’s been a dream. After she started eating solids, I think we turned a page and are in a new chapter—I don’t know how short-lived it will be, but it’s been very sweet. There is something special about watching a personality emerge over time, no matter what roadblocks we hit along the way, it’s still pretty amazing. The first few months we felt like we were getting hazed by our baby. We didn’t have a lick of sleep at all. It’s so intense, and all over the place. It’s why they say you can’t get too comfortable with it being bad, and you can’t get too comfortable with it being good.
Any words of advice for those embarking on their pregnancy journey, for new moms or those hoping to become moms?
There was so much of a focus on being pregnant, while I was pregnant, and what my birth was going to be like, and on my “birth plan.” It’s good to put your attention there, and make sure you’re in safe hands—having your OBGYN in place, someone that’s a great provider whom you trust—do the prep that you can… And then beyond that, it's just the Wild West. Now, giving birth and the idea of a birth plan feels so funny to me.
It’s what happens in the weeks after the baby comes: post-partum, or the fourth trimester. There are so many great podcasts and good information out there, for women to get a sense of what that might feel like, how to manage all the different hormones, to figure out breastfeeding. Those are things I wish I had thought about a little more before the baby—I was so focused on the pregnancy and birth that I didn’t really consider after birth until I was in the thick of it.
“I found that I loved it [being pregnant on set]. I felt comfortable, I felt the most creative I’ve ever felt. There was something about it that felt really healing for me.”
– Justine Lupe
You wrote on your Instagram that there is a narrative that it’s a career-ending “death sentence” of sorts to become a mother in the entertainment industry, but you’ve found that things are changing. The first five months of your pregnancy were spent filming “Nobody Wants This”, and there were three other pregnant women on set alongside you (including show creator Erin Foster). What was the experience of being pregnant on set like for you?
It was incredible. In my twenties, I thought a lot about being in front of the camera, what I wanted to look like, and how to control that. I’ve worked really hard on surrendering to my body just being my body, and appreciating it and what it’s bringing me. I feel like that could have been tested big time being pregnant as I was growing week to week, and most of the time, I didn’t look like what you might think of a pregnant woman with a huge belly. I just looked like a woman who was changing, and gaining weight. But I found that I loved it [being pregnant on set]. I felt comfortable, I felt the most creative I’ve ever felt. There was something about it that felt really healing for me. I’ve done good work, I’m not recycling the same old problems. I was really proud of myself, proud of the work that I was doing, and proud to be pregnant.
Justine wears the Ottessa Dress
Now you’re filming for season two—what has it been like being back on set?
It's really exciting. I hadn't worked since I wrapped last season just because I really wanted to take time to be with Ellis. I feel a little bit rusty, but I'm really excited about the season, and now it's just a matter of navigating. I've been working on being a more grounded person. I have very Gemini energy, really up in the air and flying by the seat of my pants. Now, with being a mom and being on set, I’ve had to learn how to really be present where I am. Before she was born, I was really nervous thinking about leaving her to go back to work, and feeling bad, and I had a really good friend tell me, just be with her when you’re with her. That’s all you can do.
I’m being really rigorous about scheduling. I feel like I'm having to move into a different part of myself that's way more on the ground and practical—and also a little bit less prepared than I usually like to be, for the sake of getting more time with her. The time is limited right now—I’m working long days and I'm working a lot. So it's just trying to—as I'm on a phone call with you as I'm in a bathroom {laughs}—I'm trying to really be here while I'm with her. I guess in this moment I'm failing, but for the most part, I try to be good.
What led you to a career in acting? Is this something you always wanted to do?
It was always one step at a time, “this is what I like to do at this moment” kind of thing. I wasn't really thinking about it as a career, and my parents didn't really frame it in that way. I always really liked making skits when I was a kid, I did theater summer camp, and I went on to go to a performing arts middle and high school. I just knew I loved doing it.
The first time that I thought of it as potentially turning into a career was upon graduating. I had known that acting was what I wanted to do, but I didn’t think about it in career terms—more like, now I’ll continue on doing this thing that I’ve been doing, and hope this works out. I hope I get to keep on doing this. Even through school, I didn’t really think of it as a means to get out and work. It was more that I was doing it to learn, and improve.
Now, when I question myself, or get daunted or scared, it’s the North Star that I’ll turn back to—I’ve really, really loved this since I was a kid. There's something to that.
What does your inner circle look like? Who do you lean on most for support?
I have a few very, very close friendships, and not many casual friends or acquaintances or “going out” friends. I'm really close with my husband, he's by far my biggest source of support; my family: my brother and my dad and my mom.
And then, beyond that, I have probably six really tight girlfriends. Some of them I've known since I was in sixth grade, and some of them I've known for the past few years. Two of them I picked up while I was doing Succession, which was an amazing surprise to develop new best friendships at this point in my life. One of my best friends went to Julliard with me—we were roommates when I was 17. My other best friend, I’ve known her since sixth grade, and we still talk all the time. There's Eléonore, who I hosted the DÔEN PPLA fundraiser with. She's another later-in-life friend. A few years ago, I wanted to learn how to cook, and reached out to her randomly on Instagram, like “Hey, will you teach me how to cook?” And she’s now one of my closest friends, we go on hikes once a week. I confide in her about everything.
You’ve been a Dôen supporter for the past few years and we’re so grateful for that. Can you tell us a bit more pieces you’ve worn and loved recently?
Throughout my pregnancy and now into post-partum, I’ve been obsessed with my DÔEN nightgowns and pointelle tees and tanks—the Shae, Lara, and Maria. They’re feminine, they’re sexy, and they’re simple. There’s a photo of me camping in Austin for the eclipse at five months pregnant, and I’m wearing the Shae Tank in a sunny orange—I wore that tank my entire pregnancy. It was my happy outfit.
Justine wears the Alissa Dress
