JOURNAL
Body Talk with Chelsea Miller
My sister and I have an understanding. We are just there whenever, wherever, whatever. Name it, you got it. That said, we barely ask a thing of the other, then occasionally cash in all our chips. Sometimes the only person who can help is a sister. Just knowing she is out there, a woman who grew up in the same household at the same time is a pure comfort to me. Taking her picture is something we both love. I see so much of her that someone with less of a personal connection would never see, could never see. I know all her insecurities, that tiny waist that blows my mind, I see that little curl of her lip, that look in her eye that means she’s about to completely lose composure. Sometimes I even wait for it, because that’s when she shakes it out has a laugh and relaxes. It was my absolute pleasure to shoot her in Dôen, a brand that I’ve become so close to - one that understands how to dress sisters with completely different body types, and make us both feel like we are wearing clothes specifically designed for us. Take it away Chels.
– Alyssa Miller
"I grew up as the “fat girl”, which in retrospect is so strange as I was actually an incredibly athletic size 10. But it was inevitably the first thing I was called when I was fighting with any of my friends, or if I embarrassed a boy. I had many boys tell me I had a pretty face though. I once heard two boys sitting outside my friend's window, waiting for us to sneak out and hang out with them, discussing how I’d be perfect if they could only put my face & personality on my friend’s body.
I grew up in the prime years of diet culture, and I don’t know that I’ve ever not been “on a diet”. EVERY SINGLE woman in my life growing up talked about how fat they were and what they were doing to fix their bodies.
Have you ever felt judged for eating because of your size? I have, I still do, I still to this day struggle with eating “bad food” in public or in front of people who I think might judge me or people who are thin. When I was in junior high I started sneaking food into my room and eating at night so people wouldn’t see me eat. I would eat little to nothing during the day, then in the privacy of my own room I’d binge and hide the wrappers under my mattress.
I’ve struggled with accepting my body for nearly my entire life.
I don’t tell you all of this to make you feel bad for me, I don’t feel bad for me. I tell you this in hopes of change, a change in the way we talk about ourselves, the way we teach our children to talk about themselves and to others, the way we think about others.
I will never again let my body hold me back, I will never let my body insecurities keep me from enjoying life and following my dreams.
I am currently living some of my wildest dreams, I am a model! What? The fat girl in school is a model?! I have people tell me I am glorifying and promoting obesity because I am not afraid to feel comfortable in a bikini? I am no longer afraid to embrace myself, my size, my body, in fear of making others feel uncomfortable. I will no longer shrink myself to make them comfortable. I've been uncomfortable with my body for long enough. If it makes you uncomfortable, you can sit with that for a few hours on the beach, I’ve done it for years.
The one thing I’m tired of hearing, is that people who know nothing about me are concerned for my health. They are concerned that I am killing myself with a poor diet and no activity and I am suggesting other people do the same. In reality, I am promoting self love and body positivity. There are many definitions for body positive, but for me, it is accepting and appreciating my body in the moment and in all the stages of my life. It means that I try to remember that there is so much more to me and to others than just our outward appearances. Our worth has no direct correlation to our physicality.
In my body love practice I nourish it with delicious and nutritious foods, and I am active 4-6 days a week. But my health looks different than your health, and yours looks different than your best friend's. Health cannot be measured by a photo, an Instagram feed, or laying on a beach.
You only get one life, one body, treat it well, treat it with kindness and enjoy it!"
– Chelsea Miller